I can tuck mytits in my pants
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize