Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
