I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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