I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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