I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
