i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Randomize