so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
no you cant smoke seaweed
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
