People in love make me want to vomit
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
