mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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