Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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