he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
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