nut hugger
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Randomize