all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize