so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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