At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
