I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
