he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Life is so much better after having sex.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
