He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
