Do you still have your period?
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
