You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
