She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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