We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
