According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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