I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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