Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
