I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
