I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
