Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
