He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
don't judge my taste in strippers
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
