If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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