Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
