he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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