I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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