I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
dude. I can hear the air.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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