Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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