I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
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