will power is for people who don't want to get laid
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize