Will you blow on my dice?
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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