I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
