Even water is tasting like jack daniels
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
