When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
