I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
