everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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