Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
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