Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize