Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
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