I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
my liver is dry heaving
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
