Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
