Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
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