he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
