I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Randomize
