I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
He shit in the fireplace
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
