eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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