i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
