I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Text me some of your sweat
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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