and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
