im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
It's just like the Real World with babies
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
