I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
