508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize