Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
